The Birthday and the Boar

Well, it's happened. Another year down the drain and nothing to show for it but a few fantastic meals, some good stories to tell around the campfire, a wedding and a couple more miles on the odometer. Not bad for a ne'er-do-well such as yours truly. So what should we do to celebrate such a momentous occasion as the anniversary of my glorious introduction to this earth? Some do it with cake, some with skydiving, me, I prefer to do it the old fashioned way, with whiskey and egregious amounts of meat.

Luckily for me, my better half knows when to indulge me. No I am not referring to spending a night home alone eating microwaved hotdogs and drinking Jameson out of the bottle, my lovely and talented wife managed to secure us a table for two at that garden of Earthly delights residing in an unassuming storefront on Hennepin avenue, the Butcher and the Boar.

One thing I look to when giving my own personal snap judgement of a restaurant is their bar. A bar can give you insight into everything from the philosophy of the restaurant to the type of experience you can expect to have. Butcher and the Boar's is certainly a statement. Two tenders behind a dark wooden bar packed top to bottom with rye and bourbon divided by a fairly impressive local, craft tap line. To me this says two things. The breadth of whiskey represented evinces a desire to discover and deliver the best of this specific niche, the locally sourced brews show care for the source, the origins of what they serve. So far, color me impressed.

Then we see the menus. There are almost too many menus at Butcher and the Boar. One for the whiskey, one for the wine, one for the entrees and one for the...well, you know how it goes. It was almost difficult to manage so many menus at once, but Anna and I managed to wrangle them to the point where we were able to order a couple drinks. She ordered a 

sazerac

 and I ordered a Basil* Hayden's neat. I was nonplussed by the sazerac which seemed like lazy lip-service to a classic cocktail, however it's pretty hard to screw up high-rye bourbon in a glass which I enjoyed immensely. 

We ordered grilled oysters which were immaculately prepared, followed by fried green tomatoes and smoked olives (which included pickled caper berries and garlic) nice, delicate, smoky with a nice vinegar bite. 

The trouble with a la carte menus is that I could order sides all night long, fortunately our server prompted me to order an entree. I opted for the pork chop which I found out was actually the size of a small child. Immaculately cooked with sour cherries and pecan relish, this double-cut chop could feed an entire village of petits gourmands for several days and, indeed, lasted at our household longer than most delicious cuts of meat make it despite the best efforts of my midnight snacks and lunchtime refrigerator sorties. 

So is Butcher and the Boar worth the hype? They clearly think deeply about what they are serving and why. If they continue on this path, you can expect more great things from this shop, there are a few edges that need polishing but by-and-large the Butcher and the Boar gets my wholehearted seal of approval, not simply for catering to my specific love for earthy brown liquor and cooked meats, but for their philosophical interaction with the food and drink that they serve.

Cogito ergo eo e bibo.

This picture does not do justice to how enormous that pork chop was. If I would have fought this pork chop it would have won...

*Pronounced "baw-sil" not "bay-sil" Hayden, for all of you out there in TV-Land who are keeping score, thanks to the effluvious Matt Smith for the professorial pronunciation participation.

Butcher and the Boar

1121 Hennepin Ave

Minneapolis, MN

Himalayan Restaurant: Sher-pa Be Delicious

Wind whipped around my head as I pushed through the door. The small room was decorated with prayer flags and statues of unfamiliar deities. A small man approached me and bade me sit down as delicate harp music soothed my aching bones. Base camp was far away and the rarefied air still burned in my lungs.

Okay, kidding.

There was a small man, and there was also some harp music and prayer flags. And in my defense, it was raining yesterday. However, Himalayan Restaurant is not quite the Shangri-La I was describing just now.

It is, however, a delicious and affordable spot to grab lunch.

Nestled on the east end of Franklin Avenue in the Seward neighborhood, Himalayan Restaurant dishes out delicious Nepalese cuisine from a seriously unassuming spot.

Nepalese cuisine is a mixture of Indian, Chinese and IndoChinese cuisine with everything from tandoori to fried rice. Plenty of spice, lots of veggies and tons of curry. How can you go wrong?

Still have yet to get my lunch buffet on at Himalayan Restaurant but if it's anything like the entrees I am sold.

Buffet is 8 bucks, entrees around $11 for a pretty huge meal (I actually got an entire meal out of my leftovers) and decently priced appetizers make for an affordable and delicious experience.

Also, they have yak. So if you've never had yak and are curious about ingesting exotic animals from around the globe, Himalayan Restaurant is the spot.

TOURING BANDS: If you're playing on the West Bank (Triple Rock, Cabooze, Nomad, Acadia, god forbid Whiskey Junction) it's an easy walk to Himalayan Restaurant although you probably want to get it out of the way before you play as the neighborhood gets a bit sketchy at night.

Himalayan Restaurant

2401 E Franklin Avenue

Minneapolis, MN

The Oh-God-Summer-Is-Over Patio List

Oh God! Summer is almost over! Where did it go? We never went camping, fishing, tubing or anything fun! All we did was worked and sat around in our air conditioned apartments re-watching Quantum Leap (did you know that they have like five seasons on Netflix?)!

Fear not, dear readers. Summer has not quite yet escaped our grasp, but it slips, like sand through the hourglass, through our tightly clenched little fingers. In an attempt to prolong summer’s glory I have been eating outdoors whenever possible. Here are my favorite places for outdoor chow time.

Top Outdoor Patios (Food)
Target Field
What would summer be without baseball? Hotdogs, beer, peanuts and crackerjacks. When the Twinnies are on a winning streak at Target Field you’d be hard pressed to find a better spot to grab a dog and a brew and watch the action. Good people watching, good baseball and stadium food, if the price tag for admission weren’t so high I’d be there every night!

Grumpy’s Downtown
My favorite spot to hit after the game for a drink and some company, Grumpy’s Downtown sports a sizeable patio, a great Greasy Spoon menu served til 11pm and appetizers until 1am in case of extra innings. Also a great place to drink beer before a day game and feel right at home with everyone else who is drinking at noon on a Wednesday!

Common Roots
One of the most charming patios on the list, Common Roots boasts an ever changing menu of locally grown delights, many of which are harvested from a garden in the back yard. With a couple local brews on tap as well as fresh brewed Peace Coffee all day, Common Roots is one of my favorite places to grab lunch or dinner in Uptown.

Victor’s 1959 Revolutionary Café
Viva Cuba! Although Cuba is far, far away, Victor’s is a great place to catch a few rays and pretend that it’s not going to be negative twenty degrees in a few short months. Whenever I can rouse myself early enough (read: when I end up passing out somewhere in Uptown) I like to catch Victor’s early morning happy hour 8-10:30AM on weekdays and grab myself a mimosa and some yucca fries out on their cozy little patio.

Bryant Lake Bowl
Whenever I find myself in Uptown I quite frequently end up at the BLB. Happy hour apps are a must (mock duck spring rolls, mmmm) and the beer selection is unparalleled in that part of town. Although a new law requires you to actually be sitting down while you drink your beer on one of the narrowest patios I’ve ever seen, BLB’s outdoor seating is some of the best people watching in town. Watch hipster moms try to wrangle fixed gear strollers down Lake street and see how many prostitutes they have to avoid! Ten points!

Barrio/Local
Squeezed in right next to eachother on Nicollet Mall, the patios at Barrio and the Local are no-brainers for this list. The Local’s patio is always hopping yet one seems to always be able to find a seat. Barrio’s shoulder-to-shoulder vibe gives the impression of knocking back tequilas in a cramped bar in Oaxaca. Small plates at both places are the way to go. Try the chicken shots at the Local and the Beef Tenderloin Anticuchos at Barrio while you watch the suits scurry home.

Psycho Suzi’s
In my neck of the woods when you think “food” and you think “patio” one name springs to mind, “Psycho Suzi’s.” With a big ol’ fenced in patio, drinks in tiki mugs and a pizza menu as long as Johnny the Shark’s rap sheet, this kitschy, rockabilly themed joint has a lot going for it in the outdoors department. Bonus points for attractive, tattooed staff and clientele.

Bulldog NE
Late night happy hours, tater tots and truffle oil, oh my! Northeast’s premier burger joint has a decent sized patio, cheap appetizers at night and just so happens to be on my way home. Do I spend a lot of time on this patio? You betcha! Grab a Tilburg on tap and sit yourself down with a basket of tots and try to imagine winter, I dare you.

Pracna/Vic’s
Probably the fanciest and/or schmantziest patio on the list, Pracna affords a great view of the Mississippi and her bridges. Bring a date and a full wallet and you just might get lucky, son. If Pracna’s patio is full slip over to Vic’s just down the block and catch a great deal on some wine.

Brasa
Voted number one by my readers and friends, Brasa may not have the best view, but they arguably have the best food. If you’re not hip to the Brasa vibe it’s all South American home cookin’. The patio fills up quick but the garage door windows open up and even if you’re sitting inside you’re basically outside. The cornbread is a must, but really, you can’t go wrong with that menu.

Mill City Café
Probably the most idyllic patio on the list, the Mill City Café is tucked away up here in Nordeast in the California building. It’s a great place to take a date or just to rub elbows with the obscure and artsy but don’t show up too late as MCC is only open for breakfast and lunch. Good food, great ambiance and Mill City holds the distinction of being the only two-tiered patio on the list! Yeah!

Honorable Mention:
Uptown Bar
You will be missed, old friend. When I lived on the south side of town the Uptown Bar was my stomping ground. You can’t beat big ass bloody marys, beautiful people and crazy bums mingling in the street and a hamburger that would make your arteries slam shut in fear. Hopefully the New Uptown Bar can hold on to some of that magic for us.

Allons Enfants de la Patrie: La Jour De Gloire in the land of 10,000 Lakes

Those of you who know me can attest to my crushing if not frequently thoroughly embarrassing Francophilia. I have drunk cheap wine on the Champ de Mars, a Gaulois lit between my lips, "Du Côté de Chez Swann" under my arm, swinging a baguette and leering heartily from behind a lusty moustache. Stripy shirt and flatulent bulldog and all.

So what's a pauvre grenouille like myself supposed to do stranded in the middle of America when the quatorze juillet arrives?

Do I make a replica guillotine, re-enacting my own Terreur on some watermelons dressed like Marie-Antoinette? Or perhaps I should put some Piaf on the stereo and quote loudly from Rousseau's "Contrat Social"?

Nay, gentle reader, as I write this I am listening to "The Stroke" by Billy Squier, eating a mediocre bacon cheeseburger, drinking Budweiser and watching the MLB Allstar game at a bar which seemingly exists for no other reason than it happens to reside at the intersection of two county highways.

Vacantly staring from the northeast corner of the intersection of Becker County highways 6 and 11 "The Pit" occupies a bizarre section of highway which is pretty damn close to the middle of nowhere (the Pit claims to be in Audobon, Minnesota which takes up about 45 seconds of your time on highway 10 on the way to Detroit Lakes, although it is a good four miles from the Audobon, Minnesota I know with a lot of blank space in between) and also boasts two houses and, you guessed it, a church.

The Pit is not a great bar. Hell, it is not even a good bar, but it has beer and baseball, and sometimes that's enough...

Well, not really, however the bar that I was going to go to was struck by lightning this afternoon and none of its TVs were working when the game started.

So the Pit may not bee a great bar. Hell, it's not even a good bar. But it has beer, burgers, baseball and happened to not get struck by lightning on Bastille Day and that's what I call the four Bs of good livin on a Tuesday afternoon.

Aux Armes Et Cetera mes enfants!