Right in the Breadbasket: Lawrence, KS pt. III: The Bottleneck

Another helpful hint for those of you out there on the road, free pool time is your friend. Generally you can find one or two bars in any given town that have set their pool tables to “free” during the afternoon/evening*. These free pool times also usually accompany happy hours which is also a bonus. Free pool is great for myriad reasons.

1) Idle hands are the devil’s plaything.

If you tour like I usually do, you generally have a lot of time on your hands to screw around. They say that time equals money and this has never been more true than when you have a little bit of money and a lot of time on your hands with nothing to do. Free pool eliminates your need for something (which usually costs money) to do. Also, as I mentioned before, free pool is usually accompanied by happy hours which also ease the strain on the wallet. Also if you happen to play in a band with someone who is really good at pool, it gives you the chance to progressively improve in order to one day defeat them**.

2) Hey there Stranger.

Free pool/happy hours are great places to meet people. Don’t know anyone in town? Afraid no one is going to come to your show? Hit up the local beer hall with free pool, play a few games with your bandmates and strike up conversations with people playing near you. If you/they are cool they will end up coming to your show later that night and probably call their friends to say “Hey I met these dudes at the bar earlier, they are playing tonight, let’s go!” You want this.

3) R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Many places you will play on your tour will be bars. These bars will have pool tables, and if you can play a decent game of pool against someone at the bar you gain that person’s respect. This will lead to them sticking around to watch you, buying a t-shirt and maybe offering you a place to crash. Careful though, just because Cletus put up a fight against you and your bass player during cutthroat does not mean that his house will be clean, not covered in cat poop, or that he will not try to tell you about how he robbed a bank and/or try to get you guys to “party” all night***. So, free pool is your friend then, because it offers you the chance to work on your game.

4) Bonus Round.

As you can see in the above photo, you can also take awesome band pictures while playing pool and people will think you are cool.

So after eating a delicious meal at the Mad Greek, Jack and I found ourselves in a position we occupied a lot, namely, having very little money and a lot of time on our hands. So, what did we do? You guessed it. Free pool time.

The Bottleneck is apparently a pretty cool rock club. Although we were there in the middle of the day, the lineups seemed to be pretty cool, mostly touring acts. The Old 97s or some band of that ilk was playing the night we were there. Most importantly for us, though, they had free pool and cheap beer.

We were the only ones there, so numbers 2 and 3 were eliminated, however it did give me a chance to lose spectacularly to Jack about twelve times as well as to consume some of the local Free States porter which was delicious.

The Bottleneck qualifies as a dive bar, for me, dude behind the bar with a bad attitude, nasty looking concrete floor, no door on the bathroom/stall, etc. so, since it’s been a while I’m going to bust out the old DBRS:

Tah Dah!

THE BOTTLENECK

737 New Hampshire

Lawrence, KS

BEER

Tap: Pretty good, a lot of locals.

Bottle: Good.

FOOD

None that I could see.

ENTERTAINMENT

TVs: Meh.

Bar Games: Three pool tables (worn and lumpy just like a dive bar’s should be).

CLIENTELE

Couldn’t tell, as there was NOBODY there.

MUSIC

Jukebox: Above average.

Live: National touring acts.

DÉCOR

90’s Alt-rock press photos/standard rock dive fare.

BANG FOR YR BUCK

Happy hour was pretty decent from what I remember and they appear to have several of them, can’t speak for showtime, though. Also the free pool didn’t hurt.

OVERALL RATING

7

CLOSING THOUGHTS

The Bottleneck seems like it would be a good place to see a show. We certainly had a good time playing free pool and drinking cheap beer there, if you’ve got time to kill in Lawrence I’d recommend it.

*A quick search on Google usually will turn these up.

**Kelsey Crawford, if you are reading this I am coming for you.

*** “Party” generally involves watching CHUD II, drinking the worst beer you can think of and listening to his stories about all of the different ATVs he’s owned in his life. Not cool.

Right in the Breadbasket: Lawrence, KS pt. II: the Mad Greek

Nursing is a particularly handy skill when you’re on tour and broke. Not taking care of the elderly and infirm although theoretically that could come in handy at some point as well, but nursing as in “nursing a coffee for two hours while using a coffee shop’s free wifi” or “nursing a beer because you only get two free ones from the venue and you’re gonna want the other one for when you get onstage”.

Another time nursing comes in handy is when the people who drunkenly offered their couch to you at the show last night wake you up at 8am, frantically shooing you out the door as they try to pull their work clothes on. Then it is time to nurse your hangover with a cup of coffee and a crossword puzzle.

Massachusetts Avenue in Lawrence is replete with coffee shops in which to waste time, leer at the college girls walking by and nurse said hangover. I can’t recall the name of the coffee shop Jack and I found, however I do remember that they had free refills on coffee which was brilliant and that they were playing Amadou & Miriam’s Dimanche a Bamako. Both positives for me.

After finishing two crosswords, drinking numerous cups of (free) coffee, it was time to get back on the street, maybe find something to eat and peruse the main drag of Lawrence. Much to our surprise a random guy walked up to us on the street and said, “Hey, you guys played at the Replay last night! You were awesome!”

This has never happened to me before, not even in towns where I have lived. For years. I was floored and even more so when we walked by the Free State Brewing Company and someone shouted from the smoking porch, “You guys rocked at the Replay last night!”

At this point I was pretty much ready to cancel the rest of the tour and settle down in Lawrence. Not only did we randomly play at the Replay the night before but we couldn’t have gone on before midnight so the sheer fact that anyone in Lawrence was sober enough to remember us playing at that point is nothing short of Herculean.

Lightning never strikes the same place twice and certainly not thrice, however, lo and behold Jack and I sat on the patio of the Mad Greek and our waiter said, “Hey did you guys play at the Replay last night?” Unbelievable. Apparently our waiter’s girlfriend had seen us last night, picked up a CD and told him about us. How he arrived at the conclusion that we were the musicians about whom his girlfriend was speaking, I’ll never know, nonetheless he was a nice guy.

The Mad Greek is mad delicious. Lots of big Greek-style plates full of gyro, souvlakia, dolmas smothered in tzatziki sauce. Nice big portions (they also have some, delicious looking Italian food but I was on a mission for gyro and dolmas, yum!) and pretty cheap if you can order off of the lunch menu. They also have nice outdoor seating if you happen to be there during the spring or summer. I recommend the gyro.

Right in the Breadbasket: Lawrence, KS pt. I: the Replay Lounge

The Replay Lounge – Lawrence, KS

The funny thing about writing up these experiences months after the happened is the incongruities that arise, when did that happen? In what order? Or, in the case of Lawrence, KS I am not quite clear as to why we decided to drive to Lawrence with no shows booked for several days and $20 between the two of us. On a Sunday night. At 8pm. The only conclusion I can draw is that we decided, being the stouthearted, robust fellows that we are, to continue on our path in search of adventure.

Do you know how to spell adventure, kids? K-A-N-S-A-S.

Ok so that’s less than accurate, Kansas may not be the most exciting part of America, the beautiful, but it has its merits. Carry on, my wayward son.

A quaint little hamlet roughly a half hour from Kansas City, Lawrence is also home to the University of Kansas and consequentially, a pretty decent bar/music scene. Jack and I cased the main drag looking for places to busk up a couple dollars, eventually settling on a streetcorner outside of a bar where there was some sort of bluegrass show going on. We figured we would wait until the show was over, set up our instruments and catch a couple bucks from the people leaving the bluegrass show. The door guy informed us the show had another hour or so left so, like the responsible adults we are, Jack and I decided to go spend the last of our money on beer and pool. I was feeling pretty good about my pool game that day as I had actually beat Jack fair and square for the first time earlier that day (this is the one and only time that I beat Jack by clearing the table and sinking the eight ball, which is embarrassing considering how many times we played pool during this tour) so we ducked in to a pub down the street and proceeded to fritter away our remaining ducats. Now broke but with several lukewarm Budweisers down the hatch we meandered over to the door of the Replay and started to play just as the bluegrass band was finishing up their last song.

Nobody left.

We played and played and not a single person walked out the door. We began to realize the grievous error we had committed. So, being the industrious fellow I am, I decided to talk turkey with the club owner, figuring we could just play our instruments on the stage where the bluegrass band had played and perhaps sell a couple CDs. The bar manager informed me that the rear stage (where the bluegrass band had played) was closed, but she would see what she could do.

Subsequently I realized that this woman is the most amazing person in the world. She got the sound guy to transport some of the PA gear inside, set it up for us and sound check us. She gave us free beer and then proceeded to WALK AROUND THE BAR BY HERSELF and DEMAND that people pitch in money for us. She is my hero.

A drunk couple at the bar bought us several shots and the bartender tried to refuse my tip because he wanted us to keep all the money we could. My mind was, consequentially, blown. Never have I seen an outpouring of support for genuine strangers, much less for strangers who looked as though they may or may not be shifty hobos.

The Replay Lounge not only saved our bacon, but it is a bitchin’ bar as well. There are two sections, an indoor area with a small stage (there is a SWEET painting of a superhero on the wall, I felt very superheroic playing next to it) and a full bar and a significantly larger outdoor area with a bar, a big stage and a bunch of seating. Also, in searching for an image for this post on the Google I came across quite a few pictures which lead me to believe that the Replay is the place to be on a pretty regular basis in Lawrence.

Our very own rags to riches story, right there in Lawrence, KS, but that’s not the end of our Lawrence adventure, tune in tomorrow for part two of:

Right in the Breadbasket
or …
Carry on my Wayward Fun?*


*I used a question mark to imply the similarity between my cornball titles and those found at the end of Rocky & Bulwinkle episodes, you know, like where the announcer says, in that oh-so-dramatic voice, “Tune in next time for, “Fear and Loathing in Frostbite Falls or… The Juiced Up Moose Is Loose!” Hope that got across.